22 | female | uk

Saturday, 16 February 2013


I had the great pleasure (and pain!) of doing some modelling again last week. I say pain as we were outside in the freezing Brighton freeze and oh my god, it was so so so so so so so cold. But although the painful temperatures were a bit (very) distracting, I did enjoy myself too, and it was brilliant to be working with friends and helping out with their creative projects. And the photos came out well, so it was all worth it. No pain no gain etc.

So, I was modelling some absolutely beautiful handmade jewellery by Nina Chantal. All of her pieces are stunning; ornate, gothic, intricate, bold, regal, wearable; scalloped, looping chains and glinting gems, made with lots of care and minute attention.

My good friend and very talented photographer Ariane Johnston was on camera duty. I love her photographs; her eye is so finely tuned to the little details of life that we usually miss, and I always feel like her images capture beauty, some element of beauty, in an ancient, dark, fairy tale-ish kind of way.

Here are some sneaky images from the shoot - they're very poor quality as I photographed them on my phone off the little screen on Ari's camera - but I love them anyway and can't wait to see the finished product. Click image for a bigger view.

Friday, 15 February 2013


The other night, after a very long day, I found myself on the London Underground. I was freezing, exhausted, emotional, on the verge of tears, angry with myself and with how things had panned out. You know when you have something in your diary and you imagine this thing and create it in your head and think that that's how the thing will happen in real life, and then it doesn't happen at all like that and you're left feeling dejected and crumpled and upset? Well. That had happened.

Anyway, I was on the Tube, and it was speed-rattling along, and I was trying not to look at the people sitting opposite me, and feeling all sorry for myself and cut up. But then the sound of the Tube as it tunnelled through its London tunnels just took me from me, from my shitty evening, from my aching freezing body. 

The Underground has a loud noise, deep and rushing, like wind and screaming. Obviously I have been on a Tube before, but I've never really found comfort in its sound until this moment the other night. It just sounded so soothing. In its own way, it's painful, inescapable, vicious, and I just felt soothed and calmed by it. So I just focussed in on the sound, and while it lasted I felt so much better, it was beautiful. 

The closest thing I can think of to compare with this noise and its cathartic effect is Merzbow. Sheered back, aggressive forms that don't really take on solid shapes but pulse on and tunnel through your brain, and it feels like slow and fast all at once, and it's weird and right, and all kinds of different things to different people.

So here is some Merzbow.


- Get back to Amsterdam at some point this year. As soon as I can afford it. To enjoy the peace I feel in this beautiful city, see its art, wander without direction, and nose around The University of Amsterdam's post-graduate departments.

- Go to Sonar, because it's my favourite festival and it's in Barcelona and I miss it and I love it.

- Do more drawings. At least one each week.

- Stay focussed and positive on the final few months of my degree.

- Volunteer to work in an art gallery in Brighton.

- Keep writing. Keep thinking. Keep writing. Keep looking. Keep writing.

- Try and get on the volunteer team at Dimensions in September.

- Find a job LOL.